Equilibrium
by Swamy
Summary: Maybe this time he will acknowledge what she means to him. Or maybe not. Beta: The Peep93


_First attempt at writing about Suits. Maybe I'll write a long one, who knows.__ Read, enjoy and comment._

**Equilibrium.**

Harvey raised his eyes from the documents in front of him, catching Donna's profile while she was on the phone. He observed her for a moment before going back to his papers. In the last week he had caught her twice receiving personal calls, which wasn't unusual . But still those calls had made her pensive, distant somehow, even if only for a few brief moments.

Pensive and distant didn't suit her and consequently it made him feel unbalanced. Something he would have never admitted to a living soul.

Looking at her again he saw her smiling, moving her hand in the air while the other kept the receiver against her ear and he went back to work.

When he heard the steps on the floor he didn't raise his eyes from the printed words in front of him. After twelve years working together he could recognize the rhythm of her steps everywhere.

"I know." She began "My beauty is blinding but if you look at me I promise to try my best to keep my breathtakingly good look under control." she said and he chocked.

He tried to not smile looking at her. That was the one case Harvey Specter could never win.

"You have a client to meet outside the office so I called Ray. He will be here in five minutes, but before you go Jessica needs you in her office, now."

"And you're willing to share me for the greater good?" he asked with his usual grin.

"Right now I could sell you for a club sandwich" she told him, and then added a mocking smile. She helped him put on the jacket of his three piece suit, and he fixed his tie while she reached for the briefcase.

"I don't believe you."

"Come back victorious." she said, dramatically.

"I will text you from the battlefront." he replied leaving his office with her.

He found Jessica sitting on the sofa with Alexander J. Williamson, exchanging pleasantry and sipping coffee.

"Harvey"

"Mr. Specter. Nice to see you."

Williamson stood, shaking his hand to welcome him. He was just a few years older than Harvey, and he radiated reliability.

"It's a pleasure to see you Mr. Williamson. I heard your political career is keeping you busy."

"Yes," he confirmed "And this is just the reason why I wanted to see you."

Harvey looked at Jessica. She hadn't told him anything about this and he was confused since it was not really his area of expertise. But this kind of business could make Louis pant and drool under the table waiting for a crumb to fall into his mouth so he was very curious now. Maybe it was something he could rub into his face later.

He didn't wait for Jessica to invite him to sit with them, since it was clear that he was the guest of honor of that unexpected meeting.

"I would gladly help you, of course, but I'm not sure what it is exactly that you think I can do for you."

"You see," the man began with a smile "I am about to run for congress in Texas, and I'm renewing my staff. I'm mostly happy with the result and I think I found just the right person to be my new assistant but unfortunately she is already employed."

Harvey tightened his jaw. His eyes were hard while he tried to smile to the not-so-subtle words of the man in front of him. He would have liked to laugh in the man's face and threaten him to bite off his head but he supposed Jessica would have been very displeased with that solution so he settled for a polite reply.

"I suppose we are talking about Donna."

"I immediately recognized her value and her ability so I offered her the job."

"And she refused." he tried his best to not look too smug about it.

"Well, she said she would have considered the offer but I thought she would be more willing if she could have your blessing, so to speak."

Jessica was looking at him like he had just been asked to let them cut off his right arm. Which was exactly what they were asking him to do.

"I can assure you Mr. Williamson that Donna never needed my permission to do anything. "

"Nevertheless I would really appreciate if you could tell her a word. She would get a very satisfying job and an opportunity to make a career for herself."

"Maybe she finds her current job satisfying enough."

Williamson didn't look pleased with his answer and Jessica had to cut in to limit the damages.

"She can't be nothing more than a secretary here, but with Mr. Williamson things would be different. I'm sure you see the opportunities, Harvey."

He smiled and nodded. His jaw was so tight that it was starting to hurt.

"Of course. I was just trying to not raise Mr. Williamson expectation about my influence on Donna. She is a very strong willed woman, just to use an euphemism."

Williamson laughed and he tried to do the same.

"That's just the kind of person I need" the man assured him, and Harvey felt very relieved to have a meeting to attend to so that he could get away from that room.

The meeting went as good as it could go with his mind stuck on Texas and election offices and some anonymous face behind Donna's desk to welcome him every morning. The idea was destabilizing and just plain wrong.

If Williamson really thought he would push her to accept his offer then he was too naïve for politic.

When he went back to his office she wasn't at her desk. He slowed down and watched her empty chair trying to imagine not seeing her there anymore. Trying to picture another face. Someone who would use the intercom, that would bring him coffee when he actually asked her to, someone understandably too scared of Louis to stop him from bothering him.

He found himself growing frustrated. Irritation kicked in once he caught the screen of her computer showing a list of flights that he couldn't read before getting interrupted.

He turned to see Mike and Donna going to her cubicle.

"You need anything?" she asked, curious about finding him there.

She looked confused when he didn't answer immediately. Harvey looked at her with an hard stare.

"Just for you to do your job."

"I'll have you know this slave driving attitude of yours is very endearing." she said, sarcastic.

He was clearly angry but she never took any shit from him in twelve years. She sure wasn't about to start now.

He just turned his back and went to his office, followed by Mike, who looked like he just witnessed his parents first fight.

"That was harsh."

"That was no business of yours."

Mike dropped it, until Harvey distraction was impossible to ignore. The boy fell silent, waiting for his boss to notice. It took him full two minutes.

"What?" he asked turning his eyes to Donna's desk. She was not there.

"It doesn't take a genius to see that something is bothering you."

"You are bothering me."

"What's wrong with you and Donna?"

Harvey looked at him. _She's quitting the job _sounded too empty. _She's leaving me _he wanted to say, but it sounded so pathetic.

She was the first woman he spoke to every morning. She was the one to have the spare key to his condo. She was the one to help him finding a gift for his mother every Christmas and at every birthday. She kept him sane on hard cases and was the one clean thing he had had from working in D.A.'s office. She was the one that could tell him off and get away with it.

She was the one person he couldn't imagine losing without despising his own life immediately.

Pathetic.

"She is being offered a good position in Williamson's staff."

"Really? Oh my God, but that's so-" Mike silenced his enthusiasm looking at Harvey's face "Bad. That's so very bad." He said trying to support him. Harvey just looked away.

"Did she accept?"

"I don't know."

"Do you want her to?"

"It doesn't matter. If she wants to go she's free to do so."

"I can't imagine why she would want to go anywhere, really." he said, sarcastic "You treat her so well."

Harvey stared at him and Mike raised his eyebrows, obviously thinking of the way he had treated her before, right in front of him.

He had been angry at her, because for over a decade she had been the only constant and it worked just fine. It was sometimes a delicate equilibrium but he could live with that. Now she was forcing him to think about their relationship. To think about what she meant to him. He didn't want to know.

He sent Mike away and went back to work. The poor results of his afternoon made him painfully aware of his state of mind.

"Are you trying to move it with the power of your mind?" Donna's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. He had been staring at the autographed baseball on his desk for a long time.

Harvey looked at her and she sat in front of him.

"Something you need to tell me?"

"Maybe there's something you need to tell me"

She looked confused.

"Are you on drugs? You should share. Maybe they could make me find you attractive."

He smiled and she smiled back. The tension was now flowing away from him slowly.

"I think that job is a great opportunity for you." he said. He needed to try and be selfless and let her go if it was good for her. Even if he would probably regret it five minutes later and offered anything to have her back.

Her smile suddenly sobered.

They heard the ticking of a the clock on the desk and someone's voice at the end of the hall.

She shook her head "You wouldn't be able to find the train of your own thoughts without me." she stated.

"I wouldn't put it like that." he protested weakly and smiled "You would be part of something great." He added.

"I am part of something great." She answered.

"So you're not going to Texas?" her answer made him feel relived but he was still unsure. He needed to hear her saying it.

"Nope. I fear Texas's weather wouldn't be good to my fair skin."

"You said you would have considered the offer."

"Polite answer."

"I saw the list of the booking flight on your computer." He insisted.

"You are going to visit your parents next week-end." She informed him.

"Am I?" he asked arching an eyebrow.

"It's your parents' anniversary and since you are a caring son you made reservations in the restaurant where they celebrated their wedding."

"Did I?" he asked with a smile.

"I did. Same difference."

"I am really a keeper."

"I wouldn't put it like that," she protested weakly and smiled, just like he had done moments before.

"Now if you'll excuse me," she said standing.

"You're going home?"

"Unless you want to chain me to my desk, master."

Harvey rolled his eyes, standing behind his desk "I wanted to offer you a ride home. You don't even have to ventilate me with a palm leaf if you don't want to. But I bet you do. "

She ignored his opinion. "That's tempting. Being with a very seductive man in a narrow space." She said with a purring voice "I just hope Ray will like my dress." she added before turning her back on him and leaving the office to take her things.

Harvey just stood there, shaking his head and smiling.

She was really terrible. He wouldn't have it any other way.


End file.
